By Martha Heineman Pieper, William J. Pieper

ISBN-10: 0071433694

ISBN-13: 9780071433693

Drawing upon their years of counseling event, the bestselling writer staff of Martha Heineman Pieper, Ph.D. and William J. Pieper, M.D. clarify how parenting types according to self-discipline and over the top expectancies situation little ones to equate sadness with love. This usually persists into maturity, resulting in behaviors together with consuming problems, compulsive playing, disastrous romantic offerings, substance abuse, and extra. This e-book provides readers with robust instruments, together with self-assessments, checklists, diaries, and workouts, to beat their desire for disappointment.

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Extra info for Addicted to Unhappiness: Free Yourself from Moods and Behaviors That Undermine Relationships, Work, and the Life You Want

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D. Click here for terms of use. 46 Addicted to Unhappiness one desires. They may involve themselves with those who are indifferent to their suffering, who respond harshly when they make mistakes, or who are unavailable or undependable. Or they themselves may find it difficult to be a good friend or partner. For example, they may have trouble being compassionate with friends and partners who are unhappy or who suffer reverses. In this chapter we are going to discuss other kinds of childhood experiences that can cause people to experience problems finding and enjoying rewarding relationships.

Indeed, the pleasure of being close to parents inspires children to emulate them and to grow up to be caring toward themselves and able to be close to others. The intense attachment you felt for your parents was a developmental achievement, not a sign of weakness. True independence is not measured by the physical distance between children and parents, but refers to a sustained inner well-being that is independent of external satisfactions and invulnerable to external disappointments. True independence is made possible by an inner happiness that does not depend on success and that never crumbles when things don’t go as desired.

22 Addicted to Unhappiness If your parents had known that, like all children, your self-esteem was dependent to some extent on having things go your way, and that this vulnerability to disappointments would be outgrown naturally, then they would have felt free to comfort you in a relaxed manner when you became upset. When you melted down or bent the truth, they would not have worried that too much understanding or sympathy would cause you to grow into an adult who was selfish, untruthful, or a bad sport.

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Addicted to Unhappiness: Free Yourself from Moods and Behaviors That Undermine Relationships, Work, and the Life You Want by Martha Heineman Pieper, William J. Pieper


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